Book Suggestion: Words Kids Need to Hear by David Staal

Yesterday was Father’s Day.  Were you able to greet and treat your father? How did you celebrate this very special day?

Anyhow,  while I was attending the service, the minister mentioned this wonderful book which I find interesting and will give value to our everyday encounter with children.

This book should be read not only by parents and guardians but by anybody who deal with children even if it is not on a daily basis.  This is my book suggestion for this month, and I do hope that we get a copy of this and share it to our friends.

This book is really for all audiences.  Please read the review below:

oOo

Words Kids Need to Hear is another parenting-how-to offering by David Staal in which he explores seven key phrases or words every child needs to hear, words that strengthen the heart.

Although these words should be heard first and most from parents, they are universal. Every relationship can benefit by using these words sincerely, often, in the right context and in any language.

• I Believe In you
• You Can Count On Me
• I Treasure You
• I’m Sorry, Please Forgive Me
• Because
• No
• I Love You

The book isn’t long – 138 pages – but it is sufficiently deep to merit reading. Dave doesn’t hide the wisdom it contains behind excessive verbiage. Its pithy statements shoot right to the heart of the issue.

• “Sometimes the words kids really need to hear are those they say to a parent willing to listen.”
• Parents to children: “We will stand by your side when you make good choices and bad choices.”
• “A world of difference exists between I congratulate you and I treasure you.”
• “The skill to apologize and request forgiveness typically comes handed down from a parent or other close adult who models such behavior.”
• “The words kids need to hear can also arrive as words they read.”
• “It’s not your child’s responsibility to make you feel loved”…but…”few parents know how to transfer their heartfelt love to the hearts of their children.”

And that last remark expresses the real intent of the book. Dave isn’t encouraging us to speak to the heads of our children – only with words – he gives these principles context.

• We express belief in kids when their self-belief is at its lowest.
• We spend time with our kids when our schedules are least forgiving.
• We apologize and request forgiveness as soon as possible, sometimes rearranging our schedules to do so, not after time has congealed the malleability of the heart.
• We express love for our kids most effectively when they are acting in unlovable ways.

And each context is illuminated with anecdotal illustrations to show the impact these words, and the corresponding actions at the just the right time, can have on the heart of a child.

He doesn’t target only the traditional first-wife-first-husband-two-parenthousehold. He makes it clear that single and surrogate parents have an important place in a child’s life.

He doesn’t, in the name of parenting, concentrate on what kids should be. He focuses on changing the parents and suggests the best soil in which kids grow is found in the behavior of adults. The bad qualities we loathe in children are nothing more than outgrowths of misguided or neglected parental actions.

He doesn’t suggest one method fits all. David draws on the experience of many different parents who implement the sentiments of these important words in a variety of ways and suggests you too can devise different but effective ways to accomplish the same goals. He also frequently quotes other professionals.

Each chapter includes a cautionary statement to help parents avoid using these strength giving words in manipulative ways.

The book includes reference notes and three appendices with questions for further study. The questions can be used individually or in groups.

David is more than qualified to write this book. He is a husband and father of two children. He was director of Promiseland, the children’s ministry at Willow Creek Community Church, a premier program to say the least. And he is the editor of Today’s Childen’s Ministry newsletter, a joint venture with Christianity Today International.

March 1, 2011 by EnnisP

http://nowthinkaboutit.com/2011/03/review-words-kids-need-to-hear-by-david-staal/